


If You Had Him

by orphan_account



Category: Actor RPF, American (US) Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Imagination, Kissing, Loneliness, Lust, Other, Pillow Talk, Sloppy Makeouts, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unrequited Lust, Weird Plot Shit, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26672728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You, the reader has a body pillow of Robert.What you do with it is rather..unwinding to say the least.
Relationships: Robert Downey Jr./Reader
Kudos: 7





	If You Had Him

Only when the lights were off and the room's temperature was cold enough to make you shiver, did you let yourself really unwind. Locked in between your legs, wrapped tightly in your arms was a pillow. Or rather, a body pillow of the one man you craved more than anything in the world. You didn't need the lights to know where his face would be neither did you need any other pillow to keep you comfortable. All you needed was yourself, a private moment, and your body pillow of Robert. The pillow had been a gift from an anonymous sender who somehow knew about your secret. It did a little worrisome but that didn't matter right now. You'd worry about that as soon as you'd stop your 'little' session. 

You shook that thought from your mind, preferring to dive deep back in your imagination. You imagined instead of practically drooling and sucking on cool cotton, your hungry lips met another pair almost like their own except much more succulent and sweeter than all honey. Instead of your hands clawing the back side of the pillow, you'd have them leeching onto his back, determined to never let him go no matter what. And when you leaned the pillow against your exposed neck, he'd lean his head in, breathing heavily with the thickening tension swirling around you two. You accidentally let out a giggle before nuzzling your face back into the plush softness of your fantasy. It was so wrong to think like this, your subconscious screamed. Stop! Stop! 

But you couldn't stop. The thought was too good. He was too good. 

In your thoughts he was holding you like you held him, carresing your back as you caressed his, nibbling your neck like you nibbled his collarbone. Feeling the fabric start to tickle you made you laugh again, this time a little louder. You were slipping deeper and deeper into your delusion. If anyone could hear it, they'd probably put you in a mental hospital. 

"Ah! S-stop it! It tickles!" You wheezed. "Ahhh! Robert calm yourself!" 

Yet your mind was getting wilder by the second. You forced yourself to stop getting so loud by smothering your lips again where his lips would be, compelling you to add a moan to the mix while you tightened your grip even more so than before. You felt like you were getting teased by him for being so ticklish.

"Mmmmm~" 

And you could feel your face burn up with each kiss, sending you little flashes of heat. You thought you were beginning to hear the pillow chuckling.

_"No, you don't deserve to be quiet."_

"Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!" 

Then again, this time with your heartbeat seeming to accelerate like a rocket. 

"Mwah! Mwah! Mmmmmwwwwah!" 

Labored breathing meet an unfeeling pillow, shaking legs flailed on the bed, and the building pressure from your arms' strong tight grip nearly sent you screaming. And it did. 

With a heavy fall to the floor, you released what had to be your most primal scream.

"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" 

Suddenly, the lights came on, leaving you no time to react as a voice came out from your door. 

"Y/N! WHAT IN THE SALAD DRESSING ON YOUR COUSIN'S SHOES WHO CAME FROM CALIFORNIA'S GENDER REVEAL HOTTER THAN YOUR MOM'S OVEN CHICKEN WITH NO SEASONING LOOKING SWEATSHIRT WEARING DOG IN THE CIRCUS LOCATED IN THE BACK OF YOUR OTHER DOGS'S DISTANT TOWN'S NEIGHBOR'S BACKYARD BELONGING TO THE LOCAL LANDOWNER'S CAT'S ARE. YOU. DOING. MAKING. OUT. WITH A BODY PILLOW OF ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR SCREAMING LIKE A WILD ANIMAL?" Your best friend screamed. "ARE YOU SO LONELY?! I COULD HEAR YOU SCREAMING HIS NAME FROM DOWNSTAIRS!"

You clutched your pillow tightly as you hissed at your friend's eyes that held so much anger it was steaming through their head. You couldn't help but snarl at them before resuming to make out in front of them. 

"Oh..Robert...your skin is so...- AAAAA" 

You were interrupted by a water bottle being sprayed you.

"BAD Y/N! BAD! BAD!"

When you hissed again, you knew you'd be in for a long fight for your precious Robert. That was okay. You could finish your session later. At the moment, all you had was a gun tucked underneath your pillow for such an occassion. 

"Oh.." You laughed. "You won't take him away from me that easily." 

Thus begun, the body pillow war.


End file.
